lotusflower | Sticks & Bones // IC Inbox

[ Allen waits until the next day to see Kanda again after his reunion with Timcanpy. A lot happened that first day, and the emotional spiraling just made Allen wanna take the world’s fattest fuckin’ coma. So he sleeps for twelve much needed hours.

Then he pokes his head across the hall of the inn, because there’s no way the boys didn’t make their rooms across from one another. He knocks, then holds Timcanpy out in his hands so he’s the first thing Kanda sees when he opens the door. ]

Kanda? Are you awake?

[Kanda is awake because he just got done meditating. He's clearly freshly-showered when he opens the door, his hair down and slightly damp, water clinging to his eyelashes still as he blinks at Allen and

RECOILS

what the fuck—]

Where the fuck did— did you fix Timcanpy?!

No! He was... His jar was empty, and he was just around the Grove!

[ Tim is very still. He is watching. Mostly, he is evaluating Kanda's response. He had said some things to Tim before. He is very likely upset with him, isn't it? Or is he upset with himself?

Tim does not know. He is simply small. ]

I thought... maybe... you might know why? Not that I'm upset! I'm proper overjoyed, it's...

...

Good things don't usually spontaneously happen like that. I'm... expecting there to be a caveat.

[Staring. Staring and drawing his lips into a thin, guilty line.]

Someone told me the dead can come back to life here "sometimes". Maybe that's why. I didn't ask further, but I was told you lose something if you die and come back.

Well, he- [ The guilty dog look finally prompts Tim to spread his wings and float up.

And then he just flings his whole body into Kanda's forehead. An affectionate gesture, theoretically. One only if you know Timcanpy. Please don't be sad. It was not your fault. He understands. He was worried about you, too, you know. He's glad you aren't on the ground anymore.

Bonk. ] - Tim!!!

Pwah—

[HI??? Kanda is half expecting to get bitten here but it never comes. Instead there is a guy squished up into his face and little golden wings flapping near his ears.

He tries his best to de-Tim his entire face.]

Why.

[ Tim opens his mouth and starts moving it like he's "talking" like people do, but all that comes out are a series of grumbly sounds. Tims do not speaking. Allen just sighs in relief. ]

He's been acting weird since I found him. I think he's just as confused why he's back as us...

Anyway, the dead can come back here, you said...? [ Beat. ] I suppose we should have a talk about this place. I found out some stuff about it, too.

You're going to be royally peeved. Or think I've lost my head, one of the two, but I'm betting money on the former.

We should sit down for it...

[Those teeth... he remembers all of the food you've stolen out of his hands, you little rascal.

Grabs Tim like the football and squimshes him.]

Golem-eater. [Pat pat.] —What did you find out?

[He supposes he'll go sit down on his bed, then...]

[ Allen follows him inside, shutting the door behind them and joining Kanda on the bed. Tim chooses to sit on Kanda after his initial massage. Yes, thank you, he deserves them. He also wants to make sure Kanda is Okay(tm). He spent last night laying on Allen's face for the same reason- ]

... So, apparently, before this place had people comin' in from other worlds, it was just a normal place. But the dickhead in the woods intended to kill all those people. There was something about like... Death making him stronger, and having the souls to die or... something. I don't know, I didn't really understand that part well. But... in order to keep him from getting that strength, those who remained here did a ritual to scatter those souls and get them away from here, so the forest wanker couldn't abuse them.

[ Just... gauging Kanda's reaction here. If he connects the dots himself, he'll be here to take the brunt of that anger. If not, he'll... still do so, when he continues explaining. He mostly just wants to make sure he's okay now. ]

[He nods through this explanation, the meat of it clearly not hitting. It makes sense. The forest bastard needs more souls to kill, so he brings people here. Sounds a bit like an Akuma, though logically Kanda knows that isn't the case.]

And I take it that all of this is cyclical. We're here because this entity needs people to kill, and that's why people sometimes "come back"?

[Kanda babe you are SO CLOSE to connecting the two dots.]

Cyclical is 100% correct. But it’s a little more… intense than that. It’s… hm. So the people here, the people that he can bring back? It can only be the souls that… got scattered.

[ Very inelegant, but Allen isn’t looking for grace while explaining this. ]

Which means we had lives here, too.

The people here, [he echoes,] such as...

["We had lives here, too."

...]

You have got to be fucking joking. No, no, no we didn't, I would remember if I did. I'm not— I'm not a real fucking person, I was made in a goddamn lab in a hole in the floor, my fucking soul doesn't belong to me.

No. Absolutely fucking not!

[ On another day, under another circumstance, Allen would’ve matched Kanda’s energy. He would’ve butted heads with him, as they usual did. He would’ve said something like “What, you think *I’M* happy about this?!” Maybe arguing with someone gets out the frustration. Maybe the two of them should fight to get out their anger.

But, unfortunately, Allen is not angry. Allen is just… sad.

He mouths soft “I know”s to Kanda’s disbelief, looking at him with soft, understanding eyes. He didn’t want to tell him this. Not after telling him they’re both in the same, shitty boat. Sucks to have to be like “hey so that? Times two.” ]

You do not have to believe it. I didn’t want to, either. It felt like… such a fucking joke.

But the woman who told me, she had this photo album, and showed me baby pictures of me, and said that… in that life, she was my mom.

[ The boys are sad. ): Timcanpy knows what to do. Whenever Allen was sad as a child, he’d cheer up when Timcanpy was in lap! He hops off from Kanda’s shoulder, puffing up to beach ball size so he can attempt to sit on both of them. One leg each.

And for what it’s worth, Allen, at least, gives him the smallest smile as he pats the top of his head. ]

Edited 2026-03-07 16:27 (UTC)

[Thanks, Tim, Kanda wishes he had the mental energy to give you a pat. As it is, he's already trying to shove this oversized beach ball off so he can stand up and yell more.]

Congratulations! How do you know she wasn't lying to your goddamn face, Allen?! How do you know that's actually you and not some other fucking kid? How do you know she doesn't belong in the dementia ward?!

[He digs the balls of his hands into his eyes, grabbing briefly at his bangs before he snaps back to attention and glares daggers at... not exactly Allen, but the wall behind him.]

Whatever you fucking saw or heard doesn't apply to me. I'm not— real, and I'm not fucking doing this reincarnation shit again. I'm not about to be some other faceless entity's plaything a second fucking time.

[ Tim goes to attempt to sit on Kanda fully, but the second he starts to shift is when Allen defensively scoops him into his arms, squeezing him to him like he'd often do when he was little and Cross got pissy with him. The problem here is that Timcanpy wants to take care of both these kids, so he lets out a little "GaAGH!!" protest before quieting down with a relenting sploot.

He expected this. He knew Kanda was going to be upset. He knew to the extend of which he would be, too. It isn't shocking, and yet all the same it rattles Allen. "I'm not real" and "I'm not fucking doing this again" and all that were the exact same sentiments Allen had. The only difference being that... well, while Kanda had wrath, Allen had met it with a bitter "this may as well happen". He's so used to getting fucked by whatever God willed at this point that it was hard for him to get angry. Maybe it's because the wound was so fresh, maybe it was because he'd already been in the middle of his grief about it previously, or maybe it's because he isn't really done processing it himself.

Allen is the sort of person to process grief by sitting in silence for hours, or days, after all. This is not Kanda.

Allen opens his mouth to say something, but his brain buzzes with useless static. He doesn't know how to process any of this himself. He isn't sure he has yet, so how is he supposed to tell any of that to Kanda? He could yell back. He could argue. He could throw a punch and tell him to stop being shitty. He could tell him that yelling isn't going to fucking fix anything. He could. But. Kanda's right.

This isn't fucking fair.

All that manages to come out is a strangled "Nngh..." before Allen shuts his mouth and looks at the floor. ]

[Kanda, meanwhile, has stormed over to the window to open it up and sort of lean out of it. He needs some fresh fucking air. He thinks he has a migraine. He's pretty sure he wishes he was never created, but that's a typical day-to-day. It's either stubbornly clinging to the life that he has and knowing that he's nothing more than an experiment and plaything and being spiteful enough to live despite it, or wondering if maybe it would've been better to be terminated on the lab table after all. Usually he opts for living despite it all, but...

He can't do this second life shit again. Sure, people believe in that, but no one who's ever said "yeah, I was This or That in my past life" has ever been taken seriously. He's pretty sure this random woman is just capitalizing on Allen's pain of not having parents, too, and that pisses him off even more...

For a while, they're going to sit and stand in silence, because Kanda needs to look outside at the weird moss squirrels doing their thing and try to ground himself with the illusory flowers in the trees and ARGH.

He folds his arms up over his head and lays against the sill for far too long before he finally straightens up again.]

Who's this bitch that told you all of that?

[ Timcanpy is chewing on Allen's sleeve as Allen is trying to pet him. Please let him go, Allen, he has to pull Kanda back so he can lay on both of you. Weighted blanket style. This will surely work-

He doesn't look at Kanda, even once he speaks again. He just winces a bit, shaking his head. ]

...Why? What good will knowing do? You're mad at her because I was asking her questions about this place and receiving answers. If you're angry, take it out on me, not her.

It's not your fault you were fucking lied to. It is your fault you take everything at face value like you do.

[Thanks???]

And since you always take everything on the nose, I need to go verify the claims myself.

[He is still in his Denial phase, or... somewhere between denial and anger as it were. He does not plan to hit the other stages of grief because none of this is real, thanks.]

...I'm going with you if you're going to speak to her.

[ Not a question. He looks at Kanda here, deathly serious. ]

...fine.

[He knows you're going to stop him from being a bitch but also don't stop him from being a bitch he needs to figure out what this woman's PROBLEM is! (Kanda's ability to craft a narrative when he doesn't like something is truly impressive.)]

Let me tie my hair back and grab a coat, and we'll go.

--What? Now? [ Allen stands up, letting go of Tim who promptly schlorps into his smaller form to sit on Allen's head instead. ] You don't have any concept of "cooling off" do you??? At least give yourself some time to collect your goddamn thoughts, Kanda!

[Nope he does not—]

My thoughts are collected. [He has decided that this woman is a liar and that he hates her. Which is going to be a super funny conversation to have when he's inevitably pointed out as "that bratty kid that had a mad crush on my son", huh.] I'm cooled off.

[He is none of these things and he'll probably see Lily and start screaming.]

Cooled as Hell, maybe! [ He knows those eyes, Kanda. Those aren't the eyes of someone who's gonna be fuckin' cool. ]

I'm not letting you go out like this, you moppet. Let's just get some breakfast, at the very least. Then maybe I'll take you - though I think some training or... or something physical would do you good. Maybe go for a run or... sword training or something.

[He is rolling his God Damn Eyes.]

I'm fucking fine. [You're bitchy, you're neurodivergent, and you need breakfast.] But fine, if it helps you sleep at night. There's a dojo south of the river.

[ Visibly, Allen relaxes. Like he can see the shift in Kanda from genuine rage to his usual “tsk”ing and broody upset. That he can deal with. ]

Then you’re saying you’ll come with me there before we see her?

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lotusflower - 2026-03-08 07:09 (UTC) - Expand

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Sticks & Bones // IC Inbox

inbox

Breaks into your inned box

whoae

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cw: yu kanda (that's it that's the cw)

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